Thursday, January 31, 2008

the village is taking back its idiot, and I'm going to miss him

It hit me last night as I watched the final debate between Hillary and Barack before Super Tuesday that we are witnessing the end of an era; an era when, amidst anguish shared over the soiling of our country's credibility throughout the world, we could at least sit back and enjoy a good laugh at the expense of our Commander-in-Chief. He pissed us off, he made me somehow unfairly hate Texas, but at the end of the day George W. Bush has provided endless laughs. The Daily Show has the man to thank for its considerable popularity, and I have to wonder if the Colbert Report would have ever been created without the Bush administration.
We'll be hard pressed to catch too many awkward word usage or grammatical quandaries in the next administration. We know Obama and Clinton are skilled in that regard, but John McCain's not too bad himself - dull - sure - but he's a bright man. I doubt we'll catch him referencing OBGYNS at inappropriate moments, over and over again. And while Mitt Romney totally creeps me out for reasons I can't even articulate, he's not tripping over his tongue too often either. I mean, I don't think we'll even end up with a bumbling Vice President to chuckle at.
And what about the bumper stickers? I've just grown accustomed to seeing "W the President" and its delightful counterpart, "F the President". Who doesn't love, "If you can read this, you're not the President"? And "More Trees, Less Bush"? And "Bush: putting the CON in conservative"? And Calvin peeing on George Bush's head? Come on - you're going to miss that.
Then there's the potential Presidential offspring. We can wave a sad farewell to Jenna Bush and her years of good times n' tomfoolery. Chelsea brought us some mean-spirited laughs as an unsightly child in the White House, but she shed her ugly duckling wings a long time ago. These days she's shopping with Donatella Versace and getting her hair chemically straightened. I don't know anything about Romney's kids, and I sort of don't care. John McCain has a 20-something daughter with a little potential in the Jenna direction, but I just don't know. Barack's kids? Too young to tell, but I think it's safe to assume there won't be anything to poke fun at there.
It all just sounds like an oddly humorless time ahead for our nation. A time of clear thought, somewhat rational decision making, leadership we can take some pride in - and frankly, no laughs. Thank God for Mike Huckabee.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

the new year so far

A decent amount of stuff to share, yet little of it's very interesting. At 31 I have just recovered from the chicken pox. I guess I thought I'd somehow cheated the disease, having never had it as a child. But on New Year's Day, I woke up covered in the filthy lesions and spent the remainder of the week looking like a extra from 28 Days Later (complete with a red, pussy eye) and unable to wear anything other than a bathrobe. (The bright side to this situation, of course, was that I enjoyed hour upon hour of reality television and reruns of Designing Women on Lifetime - a hidden blessing, really.) Since then I've been harassed by a neighbor over allegations of mysterious late night noise coming from my condo (unless I'm sleep-dancing, or something, I'm quite certain there is a mistake). And I'm having surgery next week for the first time in my life. It's not major surgery or anything, but it's still surgery dealing with internal organs, and since I'm a gigantic wuss this naturally means I'm secretly sort of terrified. Other than that, it's been business as usual. The greatest thing I have to share is this: